Therapy for the Flock Members
by Miggy not Fax
Summary: Majority of the flock needs some serious help, but not-so-luckily they have Dr. A.  Oh the trouble that ensures.  Crackfic I wrote several years ago.


**Maximum Therapy**

_Most of the Maximum Ride characters need serious therapy so I am here to give it to them. _

**Chapter 1: Max Gets Therapy**

Dr. A: Hello everybody. I'm Dr. A. otherwise known as Iggy's girlfriend so back off! (I'm also known as Angel's twin sister who also has wings but was separated from the flock and named myself Angel as well.) Now since the rest of the flock (other then Iggy) obviously needs some serious therapy so I'm here to give it to them.

_-Max suddenly appears out of thick air in straight jacket. She is muttering to herself as security guards duct tape her to a chair.-_

Max: There's always a plan

Dr. A: Now since you obviously have sever mental problems I'm going to diagnose you and attempt to cure you

_-A half hour later -_

Dr. A: You have Atychiphobia, fear of failure and Hoplophobia, fear of firearms. Now to cure you of your fear of failure we're going to fail you back to the first grade.

_-Max is in a small desk with name tag on front. She begins to shriek like a banshee. After seven hours Max stops screaming.-_

Dr. A: Atychiphobia cured! Now for your Hoplophobia.

_-Pulls out shot-gun. Max starts shrieking like a banshee again. Dr. A shoots Max repeatedly. Chair tips over backwards. Max lays on the floor twitching.-_

Dr. A: Cured!

Iggy: It's a miracle!

Max: Iggy? When did you get here? Why are you hanging out with this psycho?

_-Iggy takes shot gun and shoots Max.-_

Iggy: I've been sitting in that corner the whole time but you were being to self centered to even notice me. And 'this psycho' is not a psycho. She's my girlfriend.

Max: Iggy say what?

**Chapter 2: Fang Gets Therapy**

Dr. A: Now Fang tell me a little bit about you.

Fang: …

Dr. A: SPEAK ALREADY YOU FOOL! Favorite color?

Fang: Black

Dr. A: Animal?

Fang: Black jaguar

Dr. A: Car?

Fang: Black jaguar

Dr. A: You're too genja

Fang: Genja?

Dr. A: Yes, genja

Fang: What is a genja?

Dr. A: A genja is a Goth, emo, ninja. So to cure you I have come up with a scheme

_-An hour later Fang is in a tutu, wearing girly make-up, and kissing babies. Every time he stops Iggy and Dr. A, taze him. Two years later…-_

Dr. A: Cured!

Iggy: You're a miracle worker Dr. A

**Chapter 3 Nudge Gets Therapy**

Nudge: Where am I? Why am I here? I'm really hungry. Can I have a burrito or something? Once Gazzy had a burrito with beans in it and it was stinky. I couldn't go in his room for weeks.

Dr. A: SHUT UP! Obviously you are just too stupid for your own good.

_-Dr. A. ties Nudge to a table and begin shoving brain shaped gummies into her ears.-_

Dr. A: Now to diagnose you.

_-Four hours later-_

Dr. A: You have radiophobia, fear of radioactivity. To cure it we're going to make you read about radioactive superheroes and how they met their death for two years.

_-Two years later-_

Dr. A: I have cured yet another insane bird kid!

_-Iggy kisses Dr. A. on forehead and they walk away to get jelly beans leaving Nudge in her straight jacket.-_

Nudge: Guys. Hello? Is anybody there? I need to go to the bathroom. Oh, wait. No I don't.

**Chapter 4 Gazzy Gets Therapy**

Gazzy: Where am I?

Dr. A: You are in my office where I will find out what's wrong with you and attempt to cure it

Gazzy: But there's nothing wrong with me

Dr. A: I guess that's right. After all you are the only one who had since enough to make Iggy your best friend. So instead we'll all sing weird songs.

Dr. A: _You're on the phone with Nudge she's upset, She's going off about some psycho you're dating, We only tied her to a chair… 'Cuz she's a she demon, I'm a therapist… (Continues to sing.)_

Dr. A: That's all for tonight folks.

_-Gazzy, Iggy, and Dr. A. leave to go get jelly beans.-_

Nudge: When are you going to let me out of here? And Iggy's my man not yours.

**Chapter 5 Angel Gets Therapy**

Iggy: Hey Angel

Dr. A. and Angel: Hey Ig

Dr. A: I'm Angel not you.

Angel: Nu-uh, you're Dr. A.

AnGeL: Duh. What do you think A. stands for dimwit! I just write it different

aNgEl: So on with the therapy.

_-Several hours later-_

AnGeL: You're just a power crazed seven year-old. So to cure you of that we shall lock you in a padded cell with no food other than persimmons. (Persimmons are small orange fruit that dry out you mouth and leave a really bad taste. I do not recommend eating them.)

_-Angel is now in cell screaming as she eats persimmons.-_

Angel: Max is going to get you

aNgEl: Nu-uh. Max's twin sister who also has wings and was separated from the rest of the flock and also named herself Maximum Ride is not going to get me. She absolutely adores me

Iggy: Can we sing more weird songs now?

AnGeL: Of course, _See the erasers see the dead and the wounded, see you shove your way through the dead and say hello, little did i know, That you were Iggy I was another bird kid, and Jeb said you can't date that girl, and i said, Jeb you are so retarded, why can't you just stay away, you're seeming kinda like a stalker, bug me a nother day...(Continues singing)_

**Chapter 6 Gazzy's Birthday**

AnGeL: Greetings people! Today is Gazzy's birthday so you shall party or I shall taze you!

Max: The psycho finally let us all out of 'therapy'!

_-Gazzy shoots Max with shotgun-_

Max: What the heck was that for? Wait. Do you actually like the psycho?

Gazzy; (Shrugs) She arranged my birthday party, cured all of you of all of your mental illnesses, and helped me and Iggy break into your room to blow up your stuff. She's pretty cool

Max: You did WHAT to my stuff?

mAx: Shut up

_Much partying later_

_Fire truck sirens are heard and a fire truck drives away in the back ground_

Fang: I told you not to do it

Gazzy: It's my birthday. I can do what i want to

aNgEl: That's all for today folks. Goodbye. Go away or I'll taze you. GO AWAY YOU STALKERS!


End file.
